Green Detox Smoothie

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I woke up this morning with my body screaming for detox. I was in such a state that literally NOTHING short of natural disaster would get in the way of my date with the blender and a bunch of kale. I had such an intense craving for health and light and air that I knew I had to make the greenest smoothie that ever smoothied, immediately. It absolutely had to happen so I ran into the kitchen and whipped up this Green Detox Smoothie like a mad woman. And do you want to know why?

One word. Gluttony. 

Oh gluttony. You’re one of those pesky seven deadly sins. You conjure up very specific mental images. A picture painted in part, for people of my generation, by a particularly memorable scene in the movie Se7en. It’s not pretty. And we all like to disassociate ourselves from the word and the sin like it’s the black sheep of a large Irish family.

Gluttony? Who me? NEVER. 

But gluttony is tricky. It’s slippery. It’ll catch you up in ways you can’t imagine. I know for a fact that kids are gluttonous in nature. Don’t believe me? Watch your kids on Halloween after bringing their candy home. Think they’re going to self-regulate and hold out, judiciously rationing their booty for a later day? I think not. Unless you’re a better parent than I. Which is totally possible.

I know I’m raising a bunch of gluttonous little devils myself.  I’m working on it, but it’s a marathon not a sprint in this house. I see it every day. It’s in the super secret/not-so-secret drawer that Connor currently has 20 candy wrappers stuffed away. It’s in the lock we have on our pantry door so we can limit both snacking and electronic time. But, it’s also in other places. My places. Places the kids don’t even touch and have nothing to do with food of any kind.

Go in my closet, take a look at my shoe shelf. 


Every time I go to Target.

Freaking gluttony. 

Think you’re immune? I’m going to bet you’re not. Let me know the next time you’re late picking your kids up because you fell into a 2 hour Facebook wormhole. 

But there’s good news, people. Like all things in life, there is an ebb and a flow. And when we, say, gorge ourselves on a cheese board at lunch and then eat an entire pizza worth of leftover crusts for dinner (gluttony), our bodies crave a cleansing. A detox. It wants us to right the ship and get our acts together.  

And that’s where this Green Detox Smoothie comes in. Filled with gut cleansing kale and gut calming ginger, this slightly sweet and slightly savory smoothie will cure what ails you. And it’s just in time for the weekend. Enjoy! 

Kale and Matcha Detox Smoothie

September 8, 2017


  • 1 cup frozen pineapple chunks
  • 2 cups roughly chopped curley kale (not the darker dinosaur variety)
  • 1/2 fuji (or any sweet variety) apple, peeled, cored and roughly chopped
  • 1 inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
  • 1.4 cup cucumber, roughly chopped (I used an English cucumber, but if you're using a traditional, peel first)
  • 1 teaspoon matcha powder
  • 1 1/2 cup coconut water
  • 1-2 teaspoons maple syrup to taste (optional)
  • Step 1 Add all ingredients to a high powered blender in the order listed.
  • Step 2 Blend to desired consistency.
  • Step 3 Enjoy!

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This Pineapple and Kale smoothie is the perfect after workout hydration treat or breakfast on-the-go. Filled with superfoods kale, pineapple and ginger along with the extra kick of Matcha powder, this smoothie is hard to beat.


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