Every year, right around the second weekend in December, a major social event happens in my town. It’s a big deal. Everyone who is anyone seems to be there. And it’s all for charity.
Which is awesome.
And every year, right around the second weekend in December after staring at the hundreds of social media pictures posted by the whos who of my town who attends, I get major FOMO that I’m not there. Or, more accurately, that no one invited me. Which makes no sense for two reasons, the first of which being that anyone can go. You literally buy a ticket. So no invitation is needed. I could go buy a ticket for myself, dress up like a moderately slutty Santa (more on that later), and hop on the party bus. Nothing on earth would stop me, no hand-engraved invitation required.
So what I really want is someone, anyone really, to think of me and go “Hey, you know who would be awesome fun at this event? Meaghan. That’s who!” And then I want said person (who is obviously imaginary because no one in their right mind would say that) to personally reach out and ask me to join them and their group of merrymakers for a raucous good time. Because this event is not an event you attend solo. It’s definitely one you come locked and loaded with a ready-made posse. Meaning, it’s possible to just buy one ticket and head out alone, however it’s probably not going to go well if you do.
It’s an event tailor-made for girl gangs and squad goals and not “Dawson, Party of 1,” which triggers all of my insecurities about not actually having a girl gang or a squad. Even though I am not really a girl gang type of girl nor has any squad I’ve ever been a part of worked out or stood the test of time. They’re just not my thing. I know this now, at 43. I’m a one-on-one friend. A true Ride or Die who will meet you at a coffee shop or gather with you over a delicious meal. But it’ll probably be just you and me. Or, if I’m feeling really adventurous, you, me, and a plus one. Because I feel swallowed up in big groups. I disappear into myself. I retreat.
And I know this.
But the thing about FOMO is that it doesn’t really care.
FOMO doesn’t reason with itself and say “self, why do you feel left out? You hate these things?” Or, “Self, you are not a fan of girl gangs or squads. This wouldn’t work for you.” No. FOMO is a feeling, not a thought. So it doesn’t think any of these things. It just feels all the feels. FOMO says “but you might like this thing this one time?” And “Maybe this time is different.” FOMO makes you feel left out of something you don’t even want to be a part of in the first place. FOMO makes you feel less than because you aren’t in a group or you’re not in that group and that group is clearly cooler than your group. Or, at the very least, cooler than you.
FOMO is a real pain in the a$$.
The thing about this particular event is even if I was a part of a girl gang and my girl gang was like “PLEASE COME WITH US BECAUSE YOU’RE SO AWESOME AND FUN AND WITTY AND YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE INCREDIBLE,” the actual event, it’s not my thing either.
(Please know, I’m not mocking it at all. It truly is an amazing cause and for extroverts and people who aren’t suffering from a myriad of social anxieties like myself, it is the event of the year, all for a good cause. So that’s incredible.)
Regardless, this event is a Santa pub crawl, which is pretty self-explanatory. You go from pub to pub to pub, responsibly in party vans because you’re grown-ups and all, and drink, or at the very least, make merry. And for this particular pub crawl, you participate dressed in full holiday gear. Like full-on Grinch costumes, Santa suits, and the occasional slutty elf. From all accounts, it’s a blast. People love it. The social media pictures are amazing. And, once again (because I cannot stress this enough) it is for charity and an incredible cause.
But 43-year-old Meaghan knows herself pretty well by now. Invite her to a library crawl or a coffee shop crawl, she’s all in. But a pub crawl? Not so much. Not in any way. Crowds freak her out. As mentioned above, she feels swallowed whole in large groups. She can’t drink more than 1 drink a night or she won’t sleep at all (and she loves to sleep), and she’s just not a “let’s go hard all night long” type of lady.
No one told her FOMO this, though, so every year on the day after this event when all the pictures start circulating on social media, she has a very real and visceral moment of feeling left out and not cool enough. Again. Just like middle school Meaghan who didn’t get invited to the make-out party.
I’m working on this, though. Because one of the joys of getting older is sitting more comfortably within ourselves, knowing who we are, and maybe more importantly who we aren’t, and making peace with this. It’s a gift of maturity to know what makes you tick and what doesn’t, while also respecting that everyone is different and likes different things. And that’s okay.
This peace of mind and self is what makes aging worthwhile.
So this newfound zen “I’m okay, you’re okay” Meaghan handles FOMO a bit differently now. Instead of saying “I’m not cool enough” because I’m not pub crawl material, I say “good for them, not for me.” I recognize that not being invited, or in this instance not having a group to go with, is okay because that’s not who I am. And the most important part is this: I don’t beat myself up for having FOMO. I don’t ignore it. I don’t stuff it down. I sit in it for a few minutes or however long it takes to work its way out. Because sometimes you’ve just got to go through it to get out of it. And that’s what I do.
Is it perfect? No. It’s not. I will rebound when I see reposts later in the week and I’ll have little moments of wishing I was there. But in the end, I’ll just allow myself those feelings too, and then I’ll straighten my damn crown and remember who the heck I am.
Oh, and also, if anyone has a library crawl they can invite me to, I’m totally game.
Chocolate Peppermint Andes Cookies
Is it just me, or does every grandmother on earth have a crystal bowl filled with foil-wrapped Andes Candies displayed prominently in their home during the holidays? No? Just me? Ok. Well, my grandmother, whom I loved dearly and miss every day of my life, always had one. Also, one of my favorite local restaurants has a giant bowl of these little chocolate mints at the door with (get this) NO ONE POLICING how many you can take. Like no one. I’ve walked out with 20 before and no one has stopped me. It’s completely legal larceny that makes me a little bit giddy.
These mints are the inspiration for these amazing Chocolate Peppermint Andes Cookies.
I had been tossing around the idea of a peppermint cookie for a while, but didn’t realize until my mother-in-law gave me two bags for my birthday, that these very same Andes mints that I steal nicely take from TruFire come in ready-made chip-size form, perfect for baking. This revelation took my recipe creativity to the next level and from there, these were born.
Decadent. Deeply chocolate with the perfect bite of peppermint. Soft inside with little bursts of Andes flavor. What more can one ask from a holiday cookie?
(Nothing. You can ask nothing more)
Anyway, these cookies received rave reviews from all of my children (and my adult husband). They’re easily my favorite, if not just because they are nostalgic. I highly recommend using espresso powder (like this one). It’s optional, however, the depth that it adds to the chocolate is something you just have to taste to believe. Other than that, it’s a straightforward, fun recipe the whole family will love.
No FOMO required.
Peace, love, and knowing thyself,
Meg
Chocolate Peppermint Andes Cookies
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
- 3/4 cup dark brown sugar
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract
- 2 cups flour
- 2/3 cup cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon instant espresso granules (optional)
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/4 teaspon salt
- 1 pacakge Andes Creme de Menthe Baking Chips
Directions
- Step 1 Line baking sheets with parchment paper
- Step 2 In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat butter and sugars together until creamy
- Step 3 Add in eggs, vanilla, and peppermint extract. Mix until well combined. Set aside.
- Step 4 In a separate bowl, sift together flour, cocoa powder, espresso powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
- Step 5 Add in to butter mixture in 3 turns, mixing well in between each.
- Step 6 Once mixture is well combined, fold in Andes mints with a spatula until evenly distributed.
- Step 7 Chill for at least 1 hour, preferably more.
- Step 8 To bake:
- Step 9 Preheat oven to 350
- Step 10 Scoop out about 1 tablespoon of dough and roll into a ball
- Step 11 Place about an inch apart on baking sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes.
- Step 12 Cool slightly before removing to wire rack
Welcome to BurntToast! My name is Meaghan, and this is my safe space, a place where we can share stories, share recipes and share life. It’s my dream that you can come here, kick your shoes off and pour yourself a glass of wine while you read, laugh, and maybe even hop into the kitchen. This is my heart, for all of you to see. And ALL are welcome here.