Creamy Chicken and Corn Chowder

I have a confession to make. It’s pretty embarrassing, honestly, and something I wouldn’t normally share except that I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately and think it hints at something important happening with women right now. So, even though everything in me is like “NO STOP! Don’t GO THERE!” I feel like I’ve gotta do it. So here we go.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I was in major financial debt. Like MAJOR.

It was the kind of debt that sneaks up on you, quickly and slowly all at the same time. It was fueled by lots of things…my desire to look a certain way. My complete inability to budget. My need to fit in and be accepted and liked. My urge to save face and keep appearances. My ultimate lack of a strong personal foundation. My emptiness. My terrible math skills.

If you looked at my credit card statements from back then, you would be overwhelmed by the nonsense. $50 here, $175 there. Shoes I couldn’t afford yet felt I needed because of my career path and surroundings. Brand name bags that would show everybody I really had made it. Subscription club shopping that I would sign up for and then be too lazy or distracted to cancel. Dinners and wine nights that were well beyond my budget.

There were no big-ticket items. No necessities. Just a lot of wants. Very few needs.

Debt, like everyone knows, snowballs. I’m no math whiz, but I could do enough simple interest calculations and general income math to know that it would take me years, maybe decades, to get that debt down.  This kept me up at night. I was terrified.

And because I apparently like pain, I heaped on a double dose of guilt and anxiety by hiding it from everyone. My husband. My friends. I was ashamed, yet something in me kept going, kept picking up the shovel to dig my own ditch. Every time I felt even the tiniest twinge of existential pain, I would shop. Then I would hide, then I would shop some more. It was a cycle and I could not get out of it.

It was awful, friends. And like most awful things you try to hide, it finally came out.

But here’s the funny thing, as awful as the moment of revelation was, as scary and painful as it felt, it also felt a little bit like freedom. The second light hit the thing that I had been keeping in the dark, the less scary it became. Yes, I still had to wade through the muck and the consequences to make my life right again. But at least I wasn’t hiding anymore. At least I could see the light.

Sin is like a vampire. Keep it in the dark and it lives, bring it to light and it dies. 

And while I’m no social scientist, friends, but I know for a fact that I’m not the only one filling buckets in the dark and then hiding. I just know it.

In fact, I see this all the time. I see it in women and moms from all walks of life, all ages and stages. The world tells us so many things about who we should be, how we should look, what we should have, and what we should do that we have almost no idea who we truly are. There are conflicting pieces of evidence around every turn. Then add in the powerhouse s***show that is social media and the highlight reel we all are attracted to like a bug zapper (that’s just as deadly) and we come up with empty buckets, every time.

So we fill those empty buckets with all sorts of things.

We fill these buckets with shopping and massive piles of stuff we don’t need. We fill them with wine and booze and sometimes worse. We fill them with endless home renovations and new fancy cars. We fill ’em with sex (yes, I went there) and exercise and botox and lashes and eyebrows. We fill them with excessive volunteering and excessive working and climbing the corporate ladder. We fill them with all of these things because honestly, we’re lost on what else to do with these big empty buckets.

Just who the heck are we? We have no idea.

Now it’s true that I probably don’t know you personally so on some level I can’t tell you who you are. You might even be like “oh heck no, she’s not telling me I’m empty. Hard pass.” And that’s fine. But even if I don’t know you, I can tell you this, you are NOT defined by what you do, own, or wear. You’re not defined by your job or your lack thereof. And, I’m gonna say this louder for those in the nosebleeds, you are definitely not defined by that one sin you can’t forgive yourself for or the secret you’ve hidden under layers of coping mechanisms that are neither particularly healthy nor particularly effective. You’re not a mess-up, a screw-up, or a fraud.

None of these things fill us up or make us who we are. So let’s stop looking at them like they do.

Believe it or not, you are loved even when you’re in the darkest part of your journey. You are loved at your lowest valley. When you’ve done the thing you never ever thought you would sink low enough to do. Yup, even then. God loves you enough to pay for that darkness with his life and offer you a new one. It won’t be easy. This I know. But you can lay it down right on at his feet.

You are loved despite the worst part of you. And that, my dear friend, is grace. 

So let’s circle back to my story. I’ll draw the obvious lines just in case you don’t see them. My bucket filler was shopping. The moment I would feel an uncomfortable twinge, it was straight up “Add to Cart” therapy. But my bucket had an endless hole, and I started to drown.

The simple solution? Cut up the credit cards and work hard to pay off the debt. Which I did. I’m grateful to be married to a man who is not only a financial genius who was able to take my young and immature self and help her get her act together, but also infinitely patient and grace-filled.

The harder part of my healing puzzle? Working through the stuff that got me there in the first place.

Recognizing my empty parts, the ones I was trying so desperately to fill, were the issue all along, not the clothes or the shoes. Allowing the truth of the dark parts of me to collide with the light parts of the Gospel and learning to try (and this is an on-going issue) to see myself as God sees me, not as broken, but hole. To get down and dirty with myself, honest about the yuck and remembering the simple truth that I’m human, I messed up, but that’s not the end of my story.

I had to remember the fact that grace paid for this sin, too. Yup. Even the worst one. And that I am loved anyway. (and you are too).

So I’m happy to say, many years later, I’m in a completely different place, both financially and spiritually. Sure, I might always fight the “add to cart” compulsion when things get dicey in my life but I also have a much firmer foundation and work really hard to keep my bucket filled with the things that matter and won’t run out, like love, grace, and mercy. Sweet, sweet mercy.

Friends, I don’t know what your bucket is being filled with, but I do know that I see an awful lot of women quietly drowning under the weight of something, and I’m here, on the other (still imperfect) side of this journey saying that it doesn’t have to be like this. You’re loved, just as you are. Let it all go and do your best to let the light seep into the dark parts, both practically and spiritually.

Cause the journey out is hard, but the reward is endless.

Creamy Chicken and Corn Chowder

Phew….still love me, friends? That was a tough one. But here we are, diving knee-deep into another recipe ’cause that’s how I roll. We chat, we share, then we eat.

Today’s recipe is a Creamy Chicken and Corn Chowder. It’s a perfect blend of late-summer/early fall corn sweetness with the creaminess we want in a comfort food soup. Normally chowders like this are filled with heavy cream to give them that creaminess but to make this one slightly healthier, we cheat a little with this one and use part of the soup base pureed to get the same creamy effect. You truly cannot enjoy this soup to the fullest without the bacon and the snap of the green scallion tops. Both add a bit of saltiness and bite to an otherwise sweet soup. The last step of roasting the reserved corn and adding it at the end is optional, but I highly recommend it as it deepens the sweetness and adds more flavor to the broth. If you have fresh corn from the farmstand it might not be necessary, but when you’re using frozen as I did, it is. Enjoy this soup, friends. It’s an easy 30-minute meal sure to please the whole family.

Peace, love, and bucket-fillers,
Meg

Creamy Chicken and Corn Chowder

November 13, 2020

Print This

By: Meaghan Dawson

Ingredients

• 4 scallion, thinly sliced, white and green parts separated
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon thyme
• 1 bay leaf
• 2 large russet potatoes, peeled and diced
• 1 16-ounce package and frozen corn, 1 cup divided
• 1-quart chicken or vegetable stock
• 2 cups chopped rotisserie chicken
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 4 slices bacon, cooked and chopped, for topping

Directions

• Step 1 In a large stockpot over medium high heat, add enough olive oil to cover the bottom of the pan. Bring to a shimmer.
• Step 2 Add scallions and corn, saute until soft(2-3 minutes)
• Step 3 Add garlic, thyme, and bay leaf, seasoning with salt and pepper. Cook 1-2 more minutes or until softened and fragrant.
• Step 4 Add potatoes and broth, bring to a simmer and cook 20 minutes or until potatoes are soft.
• Step 5 Carefully pour half into a blender and puree until smooth (be sure to vent the lid and use a towel to cover to prevent burns and splatters)
• Step 6 Pour back into the pan, stirring to combine.
• Step 7 Add chicken, cream and 1/2 of the bacon. Season with salt and pepper and bring to a simmer.
• Step 8 Meanwhile, in a separate skillet, toast the remaining corn in a drizzle of oil over medium heat until golden brown and fragrant, careful as corn may pop as it heats.
• Step 9 Add remaining corn to the soup, taste, and season if necessary.
• Step 10 Remove the bay leaf before serving and top with leftover bacon and green parts of the scallions.

Sharing is Caring

Facebook

Google

Twitter

Linkedin

Stumbleupon

Yummly