How to Build The Perfect Charcuterie Board from ALDI

For the longest time I have been keeping a secret from y’all. I’ve let little bits and pieces of it slip out here and there, like that one time I briefly mentioned it in my meal planning series, but for the most part, I have kept it under wraps for entirely selfish reasons.

What’s the secret, you ask?

The secret is that I am OBSESSED with ALDI.

There. I said it.

I was keeping it secret mostly out of fear. Not fear of being outed as a discount shopper. I’m way too old to care about nonsense like that. Not fear of ALDI itself. Trust me when I say there is nothing there to fear except forgetting your quarter (more on that later). But actually fear that if I let it slip out just how much I love ALDI it would start a mad rush to my local store causing it to no longer be essentially “my” local store.

Which, in reality I know it is not my store. I’m not delusional, after all. But whenever I go there, no matter the time of day or the day of the week, it never feels overcrowded or picked over. It always feels wide open, clean, and the people are friendly. Probably because it’s not overcrowded. Do I want to test the fates and challenge this virtual oasis of a food empire in my backyard?

No. I do not.

Alas, I felt like it was necessary for this one reason: ALDI is the only place that you should be shopping when you are building a charcuterie board. For real. It is truly the best one-stop-shop for good quality cheeses, meats, and all the fixings for the perfect charcuterie board. OH, and it’s also where you will find the cheapest most cost-effective options so you don’t break the bank building your board for the holidays. Or just any day, really, because cheese boards are the bomb and should not be relegated just too special days but are meant to be enjoyed any day, like just because it’s Tuesday or whatever.

So that’s why I created this post–to show you how to build the perfect charcuterie board from ALDI, with specific items and a cost breakdown so you can see just how economical this board can be.

So let’s start by sharing the elements of the PERFECT Charcuterie board from ALDI, and then we’ll get to assembling (with a fun video for all you visual learners). In my estimation, a perfect charcuterie board has the perfect balance of textures and flavors so that you don’t ever get the same bite twice. I love to mix and match to make sure I’ve covered all combos, and I worked hard with this board to get some of my favorites on there. Here are my perfect elements:

• 2 hard kinds of cheese (the kind you SLICE)
• 2 soft kinds of cheese (the kind you spread)
• 3-5 meats (if possible a mix of textures and sizes but I try and steer clear of ones you have to slice on the board)
• 2 kinds of crackers or crostini
• a sweet spread (jam and/or honey)
• fruits
• 2 salty bites (olives or marinated mushrooms)
• a sweet finisher (chocolate)

Doesn’t seem so hard, right? It’s not really, except that most pre-made charcuterie platters from the grocery stores typically just have the basics and are boring and underwhelming and the ones that are beautifully created by professionals might cause you to auction off your firstborn to order one. That’s where I come in. This no-fail method with the exact item list from ALDI (not sponsored, by the way, just obsessed) will make your shopping so easy and so fool-proof that you could probably send your 17-year-old kid to get the stuff for you.

Probably. Not definitely.

So these are the exact items from ALDI on my board list, all of which are available if you want to order for pick-up or just head to the store yourself:

• Emporium Selection Vintage Irish Cheddar Cheese: $3.95
• Appleton Farms Proscuitto: $2.95
• Appleton Farms Gourmet Deli Selection (Capocolo, Peppered Salami, Calabrese): $2.95
• Emporium Selection Cranberry White Cheddar Cheese: $3.29
• Specially Selected Hand-Rolled Cranberry Cinnamon Goat Cheese: $4.29
• Appleton Farms Bite-Sized Original Salami: $6.39
• Park Street Deli Antipasti: $2.99
• Park Street Deli Marinated Olives: $2.99
• Premium Mixed Nuts: $4.95
• Cotton Candy Grapes (but any grape will do): $4.99
• Chocolate Covered Butter Cookie: $2.09
• Savoritz Six Cracker Assortment: $3.25
• TJ Blackburn Red Plum Preserves (but any specialty jam you want would work): $2.35

Now, in full disclosure, I already had the crackers and the jam on hand, but everything else I purchased straight up from ALDI to make this board for a grand total of $51.38

Y’all. That’s a STEAL. Not to mention most of these things were not used up in one sitting (I used the hard salamis in the kids’ lunches for a week and the nuts are still in my pantry for snacks) so if you break it down by cost per use it is even less.

This, dear friends, is why ALDI is the best.

How To Build The Perfect Charcuterie Board From Aldi

But HOW do you build it? Well, that’s the fun part. There is no right or wrong way to put a charcuterie board together. There are fancy ways, of course, like when fancy people make those really fancy little meat roses and all. But I am not fancy. And meat roses seem hard and like way too much work. So I don’t go to that extreme. I really just try to lay everything out so that it covers the board entirely with a semi-consistent pattern of alternating items (ie: meat, cheese, olives, fruit). I like to start with the items that require little bowls like the olives and the jams, using them as anchors on each end and in the middle, and build around them. It’s fun to get creative and arrange them however you want, so I don’t want to get too crazy with the instructions, but this video will show you how I do it.

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Still have questions or are not ready to do it on your own? There are local businesses almost everywhere that make the most beautiful and creative boards you will find anywhere. I love supporting some local businesses, so please use one if you can’t make your own. But if you do give your own ALDI board a try, snap a pic and tag me on socials. I LOVE seeing you make my recipes and it would give me the thrill of a lifetime to see this board recreated across the country.

Peace, love, and charcuterie,

Meg

PS: Don’t forget your quarter when you go. Or your bags. You need a quarter to get a cart and you’ve got to bag your groceries yourself. I didn’t know that the first time I went and made a scene. I’m just looking out for you so you can be a better human than I am. You’re welcome.

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