Quick and Easy Stir Fry Noodles

I don’t like to brag but I make an exceptionally good pack mule. I mean, it’s really quite a gift. I have been known to carry multiple backpacks, a few sweatshirts, hats, sunglasses and my own purse around entire amusement parks. All by myself. 

I have been doing this for as long as I can remember. Before I was carting around fancy brand name sunglasses for my husband and hats for the kids, I was holding my brother’s sweatshirts and my friend’s fanny packs. Before I was holding on to my daughter’s flip sequined backpack I was pushing a stroller filled with sippy cups, diapers and endless snack bags of Cheerios.

I have forever been the designated spot holder and bag carrier. I have occupied benches and taken up real estate at every amusement park I have ever been to. Yet I’ve rarely enjoyed it.

Because hiding behind this very purposeful and useful gift is a dirty little secret I have harbored for years under layers and layers of clutter, both physical and emotional. I am afraid, nay, terrified of roller coasters. 

If I had to make a wild guess and do some amateur armchair self-psychoanalysis, I would say this stems from my also very deeply rooted fear of heights. It seems unnatural and against the very laws of physics to defy gravity to fly, hike or climb above street level. Because, what if I fall? Or, even worse, what if my kids fall?

Yet I digress…

Roller coasters are my amusement park kryptonite. They have always defied my sense of logic and incited deep tremors of anxiety in my soul. Hershey Park, the amusement park venue closest to my childhood home and therefore my first and earliest introduction into the world of death defying carnival attractions, had this amazingly popular roller coaster called The Super Duper Looper. This thing was the stuff of childhood legends. My memories of it are hazy and, I’m sure, completely exaggerated by time and my overactive imagination, but this thing had like 6 loops. Yes, upside down loops. It was ridiculous.

So each and every time we went whether with family or later, with friends, I would sit and watch. I would hold backpacks and sunglasses. I would hear the screams and the squeals. And I would smugly think to myself, “y’all are nuts.” Because humans are not supposed to hang suspended in mid-air, secured only by a thin metal bar, open to the elements, upside down, shooting through the atmosphere at mach speed (is that even a thing? I think I just made it up). It’s unnatural. Can we all just agree on this fact, please? 

So I felt content in this world of backpack babysitting. It was safe.

But then, then I had kids. And they grew up. And kiddie rides, they’re not fun when you’re ten, right? So they started pushing and pulling us closer and closer to the danger zone. And while Jeff loves a good ride and is the best amusement park dad out there (yes I know I’m partial) I have been dragging my heels and lugging my fear-filled purse the whole way.

Until this year’s spring break. Where something broke in me, for the better. 

This time those backpacks, they felt heavier. The jackets, I was tired of carrying them. The squeals sounded more like joy and less like terror. And my heart started to open up to the novel idea that there is more to life than sitting around and watching everyone else actually live.

I have grown so weary of living with fear. Fear of the future. Fear of the past. Fear about life and fear about, yes, death. Physical fears, like heights and roller coasters, and more existential ones like failure and exposure. Fear has ruled in this heart of mine for so many years. And I’m tired of the burden of carrying it. 

In so many things and in so many places I’ve let fear sideline me. I’ve witnessed, from the outside looking in, other people living the life I wish I could live because I’m too afraid to take the leap. I can look back over my days and pinpoint times when I’ve let fear keep me from trying new things or fully living the moment presented. I’ve been a backpack holder more times than I care to admit.

So something broke in me this spring break. I’m not sure what it was. Maybe it was Connor’s big blue eyes filled with compassion as he begged me to take the step and join him on the WaveBreaker, knowing full well that I was scared out of my wits to do it but wanting to share it with me anyway. Or maybe it was the fact that Jeff is outnumbered, with three kids we’re in zone defense mode and he’s been taking the roller coaster hit for this team way too often. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because at 40 I think it’s high time I put on my big girl pants and start tackling the small fears, the physical ones, so I can start living out the existential ones too.

So I did. I stood in that line for what felt like forever, sweating unsightly sweat stains of terror into my shirt, and rode that damn roller coaster. TWICE. And I hated every.single.minute of it. But I did it anyway.

I wish I could say that I discovered a newfound love for hurtling through the air at God forsaken speeds strapped in and screaming. I didn’t. I wish I could say I’ve fully completed my transition from backpack holder to active roller coaster participant. I don’t quite think I have. But darn if I can’t say I did it (and twice for good measure). I swallowed the growing panic, didn’t throw up or die in air, and I did it.

And maybe most importantly, I did it afraid. 

Fear does not tell the truth. It makes worst case scenarios absolutes and convinces us we’re in control if we stay safely rooted in one spot, never moving, never participating. Just like the song says, Fear, it is a liar. 

I parent my kids to live through their fears. I’ve watched Connor go through surgery after terrifying surgery, telling him each time that having courage means doing it afraid (read his story here). And he’s done it. I’ve watched Dillon battle through the rough days of middle school with insecurities and fears and some bricks stacked against him and I’ve watched Kenzie continue to push herself through gymnastics, working and working and working towards success with courage and grace. And all the while they’ve watched me sit on the sidelines and miss out because of fear.

Y’all. Enough is enough. Fear is the pits and I’m done with it. 

Let’s all make a pact, ok? Let’s put the backpacks down, throw our big kid pants on and tackle fear this season. Let’s ride a roller coaster or take an airplane ride. Let’s do some public speaking or put our heart to paper for the first time. Let’s share previously closeted art with the world or finally hit “post.” Let’s knock fear out one tiny step at a time and fully live (and I mean LIVE) for the first time.

Can you please do this with me, friends? Cause my next stop is stand up paddle boarding and I’m going to need some serious support.

Today’s recipe has absolutely nothing to do with fear. It doesn’t. And while I usually make a nice tie-in, this time I can’t. But that doesn’t really matter because what it is is stinking amazing. It’s no secret that I love me some good takeout Chinese food. Honestly, the more MSG and fat, the better. But because this is life and I’m 40 now it’s apparently no longer acceptable to make this a weekly occurrence at our dinner table, I created this nice little fake out. The salty soy sauce blends with the sweet hoisin, giving this the takeout flavor while the abundance of vegetables (seriously, go crazy and empty your crisper drawer for this one, the more the merrier) makes it healthier. It’s a 15 minute #toolbox recipe too, which the whole family will love. Especially you.

Peace, love and courage,

Meg 

Quick and Easy Stir Fry Noodles

January 24, 2020

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By: Meaghan Dawson

Ingredients

• 8 ounces wide egg noodles
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 inch piece fresh ginger, grated
• 1 pound mushrooms, thinly sliced
• 8 ounces ground chicken
• 1/3 cup hoisin sauce
• 3 tablespoons soy sauce
• pinch of red pepper
• 4 carrots, shredded (or 1 cup bagged pre-shredded carrots from the store)
• 3 cups baby spinach
• 1 bunch scallions, finely sliced

Directions

• Step 1 Bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Cook noodles to package directions, reserving a mug of cooking water before draining. Set aside.
• Step 2 In a large skillet heat oil over medium high heat. Add mushrooms, garlic and ginger, cooking until mushrooms are slightly softened.
• Step 3 Add chicken and cook, stirring often until browned.
• Step 4 Stir in hoisin, soy sauce and red pepper. Cook, stirring often until combined and incorporated.
• Step 5 Stir in carrots and spinach. Cooking 2-3 minutes until softened and wilted.
• Step 6 Lower heat and stir in reserved water, little by little until fully coated and combined.
• Step 7 Remove from heat and stir in scallions.
• Step 8 Serve topped with toasted sesame seeds.

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