Y’all, I can honestly say that this is the first time ever, since the inception of this little BurntToast world and my first post, that I have had absolutely no idea what to write about. Yes, as I sit here and type out these words I’m going to be completely honest and tell you that I’ve got nothing. Nada. Zilch. No funny stories. No witty or deep commentary on life. I’ve got nothing. And I’m so, so sorry if you came here for encouragement or a laugh or a pick-me-up.
Because I’ve got nothing.
I’m going to blame this big bunch of nothing left in my brain on the end of the school year. Because it has just about wiped everything clean out of me. This isn’t some witty Jen Hatmaker ode to the end of the school year, neither. This isn’t funny, it’s not entertaining and it is wildly self-indulgent, but this momma is just DONE.
I’m done with packing lunches that barely get eaten and lunchboxes that look like a hazmat zone. Here’s a slice of cheese, two crackers and an applesauce. Bon Appetit!
I’m done with after school practices and games and running these kids all over town to get somewhere that they don’t even really want to be. I really wish the coaches would get this memo and stop scheduling practices right now. If little Jimmy can’t catch a ball at this point in the season, a two hour practice in the 4:00pm searing Texas heat isn’t gonna help. Let’s just limp to the championship and call it a day.
I’m done with the 8,000 scraps of paper coming home each day. I can’t possibly keep up. We have a recycling bin and I know how to use it so if I miss some important permission slip, you know why. Because I LOVE THE EARTH, people.
I’m done with the end of school year activities. I’m probably not the right person to talk to about volunteering or sending in donations at this point in the year. I’ve tapped out. God bless all of those better PTA moms; I love you so, because this not-to-great PTA parent closed the book on volunteering after the aquarium field trip last month (read about that debacle here). Consider my time card punched and signed.
I’m done with early morning wake-ups and battles on whether or not it’s acceptable to not wear pants to school. Sure, wear the same thing two days in a row, middle child. Is that toothpaste on your shirt, baby? Looking good. This momma does not care.
I’m done with schedules and appointments and GO, GO, GO. Why does it feel like we are on the last leg of a marathon that we sprinted the entire way through? I mean, if I feel this bad, I can’t even imagine how teachers who are parents feel. Cheers to you, you superhumans. I owe you a big bottle of wine and a major apology. Because you win some sort of medal in my book.
Friends I never thought I would say this because I used to stare summer in the face with dread and fear, but this year I am counting the seconds until that last bell rings and we are free and clear for 9 whole weeks.
I’m serious, for years I was terrified of summer. I approached it with the fear that you would move towards a venomous snake, like extreme terror and anxiety. I was anticipating hours upon hours upon hours of unstructured time with three young children that I just didn’t know how to fill. I knew that my inability to be crafty or creative would wear on us all and that we would be sick of our very own faces by the first of July. 
It was a guilt-inducing anxiety, too, because I felt like all the better moms out there were feeling the exact opposite of me. Back in those days we were still lying our faces off on social media and every mom I knew was all rainbows and butterflies about their children, sharing beautiful posed summer pictures of bliss-filled fingerpainting and sand table fun.
Meanwhile, finger painting made me quietly die inside and sand table fun always turned into a giant “OH MY GOSH STOP THROWING SAND IN YOUR BROTHERS EYE” brawl.
I was a summer failure and knew it.
I don’t know what has changed. I don’t know if it’s the advent of social media authenticity where even now the most put together and glamorous moms are sharing their “real” moments for us all to see (I’m not buying that either if your “real” means you still look like a supermodel and your kitchen is spotless, you’re faking). Or maybe it’s because my kids are older and there’s less sand throwing and more neighbor friends and moments of quiet while they each are doing their own thing.
Or maybe because my heart has changed just a bit and I realized that those moments, even the ones where I am definitely not mom of the year, don’t make me a failure. Sure, maybe the moments are a fail, but I’m not. And maybe that took the mom pressure off just a bit.
And without the mom pressure, I have more time to just enjoy the moment. Realizing that it really is ok if we have one entire day of fighting or grumpiness or, heaven forbid, summer boredom. We’ll survive. The sun will set and come up again. And we’ll be just fine.
I’m so looking forward to pool days, no schedules, popsicles (like these berry and cream beauties), flip-flops, relaxation, and less stress. I don’t care if we do nothing; I don’t care if we sleep in until noon or wake up at 6:00 am every day. I just long for less complication, less intensity, and more time together. Because with my oldest about to make his way into middle school next year, the idea that time is short is so close on my heart that sometimes it takes my breath away.
And, yes, friends, I am aware that come August I will be contradicting every single thing I wrote today and begging to return to the schedules and rigors and structure of the school year. You can count on that post to come too. And at that point, I will openly mock my hypocrisy for all to see.
This is the beauty of the seasons of life.
And so, today, friends, I’m sharing an easy peasy appetizer recipe. It’s seriously so easy yet so stunning that your friends and family will never know just how little work you put into it. It looks fancy. It seems hard. But it’s really not. And that’s exactly how a summer entertaining recipe should be.
Like all of my recipes, this is one you can play with. I call for a quick spin with the mixer for the goat cheese, but if you’re feeling lazy, just mash it up a bit with a fork. I realize that I am having a make your own jam moment (see my raspberry version here) but if you’re feeling extra lazy (which, hey, it is summer so be lazy if you wanna. It’s totally fine), just use good quality jarred jam. It will probably be just as good, especially if it’s from a farmers’ market.
Play with your food. Make it your own. This isn’t just my recipe; if you make it it’s yours, too, so make it fun.
And enjoy these last few weeks of school, moms. Get ready for summer. It’ll be here before we know it.
Peace, love, and summer,
Meg
Crostini with Whipped Goat Cheese and Quick Blackberry Jam
Ingredients
- 1/2 loaf crusty French bread (alternatively, if you can find pre-sliced crostini, AWESOME)
- 8 ounces blackberries
- 2 teaspoon maple syrup
- 10 ounces goat cheese
- pinch of salt
- 1 tablespoon Honey
- Fresh mint to garnish (optional)
Directions
- Step 1 Preheat broiler.
- Step 2 Slice bread in thin (1/2 inch) slices on the diagonal (skip if you have pre-sliced).
- Step 3 Brush lightly with olive oil.
- Step 4 Broil for 3 minutes or until lightly toasted.
- Step 5 Meanwhile, in a small heavy bottom saucepan, combine blackberries and syrup. Cook on low heat, mashing and stirring until a jam-like consistency is formed.
- Step 6 Set aside.
- Step 7 In a small bowl, whip (or mash) the goat cheese and salt together.
- Step 8 To assemble:
- Step 9 Top each crostini with a spoonful of goat cheese and then jam.
- Step 10 Right before serving, drizzly with honey and top with mint.
- Step 11 Enjoy!
Welcome to BurntToast! My name is Meaghan, and this is my safe space, a place where we can share stories, share recipes and share life. It’s my dream that you can come here, kick your shoes off and pour yourself a glass of wine while you read, laugh, and maybe even hop into the kitchen. This is my heart, for all of you to see. And ALL are welcome here.