Happy Birthday, BurntToast! A look back at one year of blogging

One year ago, probably at around the same time I’m writing these words out to y’all, I hit “Publish” for the first time on this little blog called BeautyfromBurntToast (read that simple post here). I let my dreams and my visions and my words out of the safety of my own mind and heart and opened them up to, well, the world.

Can I tell you just how terrified I was? Can I tell you that I felt way out of my league? That I felt like I was going to fall flat on my face and fail while y’all were watching? Can I tell you that it felt sort of like I was about to run through the halls of middle school naked, that sharing my thoughts and feelings and creative vision with the world was that ridiculously scary to me?

Well, it was.

I had no idea what I was doing back then. And while I’m still generally pretty clueless, I’ve learned a few things in this past year. Sure, I’ve learned how to do all of the technical stuff, like take better pictures and write a marginal amount of HTML code, but that’s not really what I’m talking about, mostly because it’s boring. No, what I’m talking about is how my heart has grown, how my soul has healed, and how God has revealed just how faithful and true and awesome He really is through each and every moment of this year.

And while I’m still learning and growing and changing, I wanted to share just a few things I’ve learned along the way with you. Because maybe, like me, you are teetering on the edge of something that you are terrified to do. Maybe your heart longs for something more, you just can’t put your finger on it. Maybe you feel too broken, too dirty, too stained for God to use you. Maybe you just have a dream and you don’t know what to do with it. And maybe, just maybe, you can find something in here, some little nugget of wisdom or grace or faith, that can help. That’s all I ever really want to do with my words anyway, to fill souls with the grace that was given to me. 

So here goes nothing….

1. That voice in your heart? It’s God. That voice in your head? It’s not. I remember exactly where I was sitting when the first tiny seed of BurntToast came into my heart. I was on my patio doing my daily devotions. I was feeling sort of lost and sort of antsy. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life after leaving my job in the corporate world. And then this idea wormed its way right into my heart. There was no thunder. There was no lighting or talking bushes. There was a whisper. And it was God. I had no idea how to start a food blog. I was a terrible photographer. And I was dead broke. My head told me all of this. My head told me I would fail. My head told me that this was the most ludicrous idea ever. My head–that was not God. My heart, though, it whispered, continuously, “Trust me. I’ve got this.” That, my friends, that was God. And for once in my life, I listened. 
2. The right people in your life will push you with truth and love. Cherish them. When I started BurntToast, I was coming out of a period of self-isolation. I had some work to do in my soul so I stripped away alot of friendships and spent a lot of time alone with God. It was a quiet, silent, self-reflective time. So when I first got this little idea I kept it to myself. It was too scary to share and I didn’t have really anyone to share it with anyway. And then one day on a walk with a friend, a new one at that, I just blurted it out, my idea, my fears, all of it. And she looked at me and said “you should do it.” And that’s it. She didn’t laugh. She spoke life right into my dream and believed in me. She’ll probably never know how much that meant to me or how much that moment galvanized the future of this place. And then the other friend I told, she topped that. She spoke so much truth and so much life into my dream that she took it on herself, helping me hone in on a name and a founding scripture. She gave life to this idea with her faith. I cherish these women more than they’ll ever know. **Hold on to those people in your own life. You know them. They speak truth and life and love into your wildest dreams. They are gifts from God. Cherish them.** 
3. God can use you, even at your worst. Friends, if you only knew what a mess I was when I started this. I mean, I’m still a mess. I really am. But I was a HOT mess one year ago. If there was anyone who you would not expect to be on the short list of God’s hands on earth, it would be me. I was in no way worthy of any call from Him. I was the furthest thing from a reliable representation of a woman of God. But He called me anyway. God never ever asks us to be perfect. He just asks us to be willing. The fun part is, though, that if you’re willing to answer His call, no matter how broken and downtrodden you are, He will do AMAZING things with your life. What God was leading me into with this blog, it’s so much bigger than I ever imagined it would be. The most important thing He’s led me to, though, was Him. **You’re never ever too broken. You’re never ever too far gone. God can use you. He’s still calling you. Listen for the whispers. He’s here waiting for you with love and grace.**
4. That thing that sets your soul on fire, it’s your gift, use it.  If I’m going to be honest, I am a person with a lot of passions. I’m excited about a lot of things. I have a BIG personality, with a lot of love for a lot of things. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, sets my soul on fire like writing. When I am writing–really writing–my fingers hum. My heart is lit. I know, in that spot somewhere deep in my soul that we know things, that I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. Words, I’ve come to find, are my gift. And damn if I don’t intend to use every last word I have on this earth telling everyone just who that gift comes from. **I have no idea what your gift is. Maybe you don’t either. But I can bet that there is something on this earth that sets your soul on fire. Some talent. Some dream. You know it. That’s from God. Use it. Find a way to share it. It sets everything else in motion for a beautiful big life when you do.**
5. You’re never EVER alone: I don’t know much about life. I’m still a work in progress. But I do know this–when you are working in God’s will no matter how big and daunting it is–He makes a way. He doesn’t drop a line in your heart on your patio on summer morning and then send you packing to close it out without Him. He’s here. Whenever I’ve hit a roadblock, He’s made a way. When I almost quit because I hate (and I mean HATE) the backside of blogging that I was slogging through in order to grow, He whispered, “STAY.” And I did. I went back to basics, I wrote. I did the stuff I love. And I grew more because of it. **No matter where you are in your journey. No matter what you’ve done or haven’t done. You’re never alone. He will get you through. It might look different than you expected, but I can guarantee it’s so much more beautiful too.** 
6. The journey to less ordinary is a roller coaster. But it’s worth it. This world has a way of beating you into submission. It has a way of telling you what you should look like, act like, talk like, and be in order to “make it.” I bought into that SO HARD, y’all. I did. I wanted to be everythang….the best mom, wife, career woman, boss babe, ever. And I failed. Because that was never me. If I’m being really honest here, I don’t think that’s any of us. None of us were meant to be ordinary. But somehow we all try. My journey, friends, is just starting. I’m forging my own way. My life is anything but typical anymore. I don’t buy into anything that doesn’t suit my soul. And I’m so free. In some ways, I think this makes me look like I’ve lost. I don’t have a career. I don’t have the best clothes. My house is a hot mess and I often look like one too. **But man, ordinary is for the birds. Live BIG, friends. Live your own journey. Own it. Love it. It’s beautifully YOU.**

Oh friends, I have no idea what is in store for BurntToast this coming year. I have no big plans. I am simply loving this journey. Bringing you good solid recipes coupled with writing that is truly from the heart is a dream that I never would have expected to come true. It is a pleasure. A joy. It is the beating of my heart in black and white.

I want to thank each and every one of you for coming along for the ride this past year. I seriously get overwhelmed with gratitude when I think of how many of you have hopped on board. Friends, I love you all. Thank you so very, very much.

Peace, love and celebrations,

Meg

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