Vanilla Matcha Cream Smoothie

I don’t know about the rest of you, but over here in North Texas we’re about knee deep into summer already. Three weeks in and already feeling the inevitable unraveling of our pre-summer excitement and anticipation (I talked through that here). We’re in the throes of it.

And I’ve got to say, this year feels different to me and I kinda like it. 

I used to greet summer with a ton of trepidation and fear. I would approach it like one would approach a oceanic journey on a paddle boat, with total abject fear and anticipation of failure. Like, I might get off shore a ways but I’m certain to drown in the middle. 

That’s what summer when my babies were small felt like, I’m not going to lie. Because summer is long. It doesn’t feel like it is right now, but back then it felt endless, and not in a good way. There was no preschool to give me a few hours of respite a week. There were no regularly scheduled activities. There was just me and my three children under four, all who needed entertaining, discipline and structure, what felt like all of the time.

It was hard to go places with diaper bags and strollers and nap times to navigate. The pool was a place where I went to stress out and fear death for a few hours every morning, a constant vigil for signs of drowning, forcing me to toothpick stare at the pool surface constantly. So more often than not my days stretched long with endless hours of trying to be creative (which I’m not) in the house while chasing around a toddler, carrying a baby and trying to keep my oldest from killing himself or others with his antics. 

By this point in the summer (yes, I know we’re only 3 weeks in) I felt like one of those wilderness reporters in the jungle covering a war between guerrilla tribes. If you can picture me hiding in our toy closet, covered in blankets as camo whispering into a microphone (so as not to alert the natives to my presence) with a inexplicable British accent giving a blow by blow on a battle between two male guerrillas, you get the idea of my summer headspace (and also my wild imagination). 

Then, for a few years I worked full-time during the summers. This was it’s own special breed of hell, trying to juggle babysitters and nannies and summer camps, never feeling successful or like I was managing as gracefully as I should have been. I struggled through feeling like I was missing out, knowing that their summer memories would exist without me in them. Sure, they seem to like summer camp and it’s a great place to be, but what if I want to be with them too? 

It’s a balance to find the joy of summer when you’re pulled in so many different directions for a career, that’s for sure.

But this year, this year I feel like I’ve hit the summer jackpot. It’s my second summer since leaving my job and I’m much more comfortable in the groove of stay at home momming this go-round. My kids are a little bit older too, a little bit more self-sufficient. I don’t feel burdened down so much by their actual physical care, no diapers or bottles, no sippy cups and endless baggies of Cheerios to pack and stash (you moms know what I’m talking about). They aren’t really a drowning risk anymore and can manage to play at the pool while I can relax and read or visit with a friend without being in a hyper-vigilant lifeguard state. 

And guys, they’re fun. I actually like them. And this summer, because I’ve been able to slow down and rest in our pace of life, I’m getting to know who they are on a very deep, very personal level each and every day. I’m getting to see their souls, their essence, and I love it.

I’m finding out that my oldest, though my first to throw up his fists, is actually my peacemaker. I’m learning that he is the one who needs the most affirmation and that he is actually my kindest child deep in his heart. I know now that his constant need for motion is something he can’t help and I’ve learned to embrace his midnight roaming (read about that here), mostly because he also sleeps in and gives me some morning peace.

I’m learning that my middle son has a heart set on God, and that this is not because of anything I have done, and that he has in insatiable desire to know the whys and the hows of this world. He’s an introvert like my husband, retreating to his room to read or create comic books or just play quietly, because he sometimes need to escape the chaos of our otherwise extrovert filled house. His laugh is honestly the best laugh you will ever, ever hear, and I want to preserve it forever so that I can still listen to it when I’m eighty years old.

And my baby, she’s just a child filled with mirth. Yes, mirth (look it up). She is joyful. And simple, not because she’s not smart, I’d argue that she has more street smarts than both of my boys combined, but she’s just easy. She longs to please and loves to bring a smile to your face. If she makes you laugh with one thing, prepare yourself for that one thing to be on constant repeat for a while, not because it’s annoying, but because she longs to see a smile on your face. She’s honestly the happiest child I have ever seen. 

Friends, I knew all of this before. On some level, I knew it. But this summer, I KNOW it. 

If there ever was proof to me that I am in the exact place God wants me to be it’s that passing lightning bolt feeling of love and connection I feel when I stare at my kids. That feeling that almost makes you want to bite your kiddos, of a deep love so grand you can’t even fight it off. It’s those moments when I’m able to slow down, say yes to a game of Go Fish and just BE with them. There are no emails to answer. Texts, yes, I’ll probably miss them and be that friend that doesn’t respond for days. But you know what, I’m so very present. I’m so in their lives. And I know, just know, that this is the spot I need to be right now. 

Guys, sometimes the road to get there is rocky. Sometimes you feel like you’re standing on the shoreline staring at an endless ocean of doubt and fear and failure. But you will. Your journey may look more like series of mistakes and missteps and endless moments of wishing you were on the other side, but just keep swimming. Gods plan, yeah, it’s greater than ours and it will prevail. Through all of our doubt and disobedience, He really does works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

My journey to get to this place, this summer of content, it was less than glamorous. It was rocky and rough. I can’t say that it’s perfect, and yes, I know I just wrote about struggling through a personal funk (completely unrelated), but I can say that I am enjoying these moments with my kids and this summer where I’m free to do so more than I ever could have imagined. 

Now, that’s not to say that I’m not exhausted. I am running on hardcore caffeine that switches to wine at nighttime these days, and I am definitely tired. Which is why I’m sharing with you my favorite afternoon mommy pick-me-up. We all know that I have a major love for matcha, but when it’s hot outside I honestly can’t fathom having a hot latte in the afternoon. So I figured out that if I combine my love for smoothies with my love for matcha something good would happen. This vanilla matcha latte is so fun and light and delicious that you almost forget that the reason you’re drinking is that you need the caffeine. I struggle still with the bitter tea taste so I go a little overboard on the vanilla and the sweet, but if you’re accustomed to the taste you can dial that back a bit. I would definitely recommend making this one and taking it to the pool or sitting on a patio somewhere. Heck, maybe you can find a way to incorporate your afternoon happy hour into this and you’ll get a win-win in the annuals of mommy history. (and share it with me if you do)

Peace, love and summertime,

Meg 

Vanilla Matcha Cream Smoothie

June 19, 2020

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By: Meaghan Dawson

Ingredients

• 1 banana, cut into small pieces and frozen
• 1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk (or milk of your choice)
• 1 teaspoon matcha green tea powder
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 1/2 teaspoons maple syrup

Directions

• Step 1 Place all ingredients in high powered blender and mix on high speed until smooth.
• Step 2 Pour and ENJOY!

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