Easy Pasta Primavera

Very few people know this about me, but when I was 19 I went through a major depressive episode. I hesitate to call it true depression, though back in the day I did get a nice and tidy diagnosis for it. But looking back, I definitely think it was less a chemical thing and more of a life thing that took me down and kept me under for so long.

I had just finished up a wildly less than stellar sophomore year at school where I partied too much, studied too little, and seemed to be less than able to cope with the everyday stressors of being a college kid. So I was just fumbling around, uncertain about who I was or even who I wanted to be, and pretty down on myself about life in general. I felt like a failure. I felt like I was unequipped to make it in college life. And I felt like I couldn’t go on one more second in the life I was living.

So I dropped out of college. I moved out of the apartment that I shared with 2 girlfriends (who were arguably a terrible influence so this should have happened anyway) and back in with my parents. I then proceeded to mope for roughly 3 months. I doubt I lifted a finger to help my mom who was taking care of my dying grandmother and trying to work full-time. I’m sure I felt very sorry for myself. Overall, I think I wasted an entire summer suffering through regret, selfishness, fear and faithlessness. I was a mess.

Luckily my parents are not of the generation that spawned trophies for every kid and safe places. Because by month three they had had just about enough of my inertia. They weren’t in the business nor did they have the means to support me through an entire emotional crisis so they made me get a job. Being scared of going back to school was fine, but I was going to work. And they were going to see to it that I paid my fair share.

Guys, I was terrified of my shadow at this time. I felt like I couldn’t handle pumping my own gas, much less pull myself together to actually  interview and get a job. But I did because I had to.

And more than any medicine or any therapy on this planet, that job pulled me out of that depression and changed the course of my life. Not because I made a ton of money–I was barely pulling minimum wage if I remember correctly–but because my job was working with children.  

Working with a bunch of kids at a before and after school daycare turned out to be all the therapy this girl needed. Because there is no way to stay inside of your own head when there are 40 little faces that need yours to smile back at them. There is no way to stay sad when little hearts want to hug you and sit on your lap and pretty much think you hung the moon and the stars and that even as a 19 year-old college drop out, they think you are amazing.

Guys, those kids saved my life in so many ways.

And what almost no one knows about me is that lately I’ve been going through another funky episode of life. 

Now I’m not going to categorize it as anything close to a depressive episode reminiscent of my teen years, but I am going to say I’ve been struggling. I’ve been down. Old destructive and hurtful patterns in my life seem to want to stick around forever, haunting me and wearing on my soul. I’ve felt hopeless at times and like the world has sucked the breath right out of my lungs. No black hole here, but it’s been tough and just getting through each day being the mom that I need to be for my children and taking care of our chaos mess of a life has been just about all I can manage.

Which is why it makes no sense at all that I would sign up to volunteer at our Vacation Bible School last week. Why, when I can barely muster the energy to slap some Nutella on toast for my own kids each morning, did I think I would have the energy to serve 900 others? I’m not sure. But I did it anyway.

And once again like the magic that it is, working with those kids opened my heart back up and brought my soul to an open space of breath and light. Once again, I was absolutely unable to stay in my own funk, in my own head, because there were so many other little souls that needed me to be, well, just me. I was required to think of other people and what their hearts needed above my own. And the funny thing about doing that is somehow, it healed my hurt in the process. 

Friends, I understand that this is not true of a real depression and that mental illness is ridiculously hard to overcome. I understand that there is no substitute for medication and therapy. And I also understand that going through a “funk” is drastically different from a true depression.

But I can tell you without a doubt, that the cure for a funk is to help someone else. It’s to move. It’s to get out of your own head and do something for someone who has less than you. Had my parents let me wallow and sit in fear of my own failures 20 years ago I probably never would have gone back to college. I probably wouldn’t have graduated Suma Cum Laude and moved on to a great career in the fashion industry, mustering all the courage my 22 year old self could gather to move to New York City on my own. Had they not pushed me out the door who knows if I would have the life that I do today. 

No, it didn’t cure me instantly, but it was the gentle reminder of what I needed to do. I needed to look up, look out, and remember that God put me on this planet for more than my own needs and wants and desires. That’s what serving others does for us. It reminds us that we’re all connected. That love is a verb. And that when we give it away, it almost always comes back to us.

So, friends, if you’re feeling down my first recommendation is to get out and do something, anything, to help someone else. Take a few minutes to shift your focus off of your own problems and onto solving someone else’s and you’ll be better for it. Keep doing it until it helps. Keep doing it until your heart heals. Heck, keep doing it because that’s what the world needs right now too.

My second recommendation is to eat. Eat well. Eat good. Eat this pasta primavera. It’s what I made after a week of serving at VBS left me depleted and hungry, wanting something other than the take out I had been ordering for days. It’s so simply, so easy, and such a perfect “clean out the fridge” recipe. Seriously, any vegetable you have on hand will work here–mushrooms, eggplant, peas. I can eat it as is and feel like I’ve had a full meal, but for those meat eaters out there it’s a perfect base for grilled chicken or shrimp and if you’re a vegetarian, add some white beans and you’re good to go.

Guys, it’s a one-two punch for a funk. Give both a try. Your heart and your stomach will thank you.

Peace, love and serving,

Meg 

Easy Summer Pasta Primavera

June 19, 2020

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By: Meaghan Dawson

Ingredients

• 8 ounces pasta of any shape (larger shapes like Farfalle, Rigatoni or Penne are best)
• 16 ounce can diced tomatoes
• 1 onion, large dice
• 3 cloves of garlic minced
• 1 red pepper cut into bite size pieces
• 1 zucchini, halved lengthwise and then sliced
• 1 yellow squash, halved and cut into slices
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried basil (alternatively, a handful of fresh slivered)
• Pinch of crushed red pepper

Directions

• Step 1 Bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Add pasta and cook according to packaged directions, reserving a mug of pasta water before draining.
• Step 2 In the meantime, heat a drizzle of olive oil over medium high heat.
• Step 3 Once hot, add onion, peppers and garlic to the pan.
• Step 4 Add oregano, basil and red pepper stirring to combine.
• Step 5 Cook until softened, about 3 minutes.
• Step 6 Add remaining vegetables and cook, about 4-5 minutes until tender.
• Step 7 Add in diced tomatoes and juices, stirring to coat.
• Step 8 Cook to meld flavors, roughly 2 minutes.
• Step 9 Add in pasta, half of the reserved water and stir to coat.
• Step 10 Cook 1 minute more and remove from heat.
• Step 11 Serve topped with Parmesan Cheese if desired.

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