I know it’s terribly uncool to say this, as most people make nearly a living talking badly about their in-laws, but I was pretty lucky to marry into an amazing family. Despite the fact that I am not a Texan and I really don’t like Barbeque, they still love me. They never judged me when I had the crazy hair (read about this here) and if they did, they never said anything to my face until they knew me well enough to know it wasn’t going to destroy my sense of self. They’re all around pretty great, and I am lucky to have them.
Nowhere is this more apparent than in the fact that they have been consistently “borrowing” my children one day a week this summer. I’m not sure if it was initially to protect my sanity or the kids safety, but after a week or so of hearing the growing desperation in my voice they began to take them on fun little grandparent adventures so I could get a handle on my quickly loosening grasp on mental health. I would love to say that I spend this time getting manicures or massages but usually, I just nap. Nap and then drink wine. That’s pretty much it. But, again, that’s beside the point.
Last Friday as I dropped my three precious angels off at their house (read: sped away like Lightning McQueen coming out of Pit Row) I decided to see if my hubby could meet for lunch. We don’t get a ton of date nights so even a quick solo lunch feels like a blessing so I decided to take the chance to see if he was free. Luckily he was, and after he gave me some quick directions on how to get to his office coming from a different direction, I set out to pick him up.
Only, I can’t (or won’t) follow directions very well. And I have an awful sense of direction. And I’m ridiculously stubborn and refuse to admit that I’ve made a mistake until I’m knee deep in the consequences. And all of these lovely attributes combined that day to find me driving down the wrong road, in the wrong directions for an embarrassingly long time before I even realized it and an even longer time until I would admit to myself that this was probably a problem.
And just as I was about to give it up and try to type in his address on my GPS my phone rang. And my darling husband on the other end of the line, he didn’t even let me say a word. He simply said “Honey. You’re going the wrong way. Turn around.”
Now, friends, I don’t know about you, but the older I get the more this is the kind of love I want. Forget the flowers, the romance, the candles and the wine (well, no, maybe don’t forget the wine). Give me someone who knows me so well that he can gently redirect me when he knows I’m going off course. Someone who knows me so well that he can predict both my weakness (following directions) and my faults (the stubbornness that refuses to admit when I’m lost) and help me walk through them. That, my friends, is really knowing someone and really accepting them.
If I’m going to be completely honest here I will admit that I used to chafe against this type of redirection. Like the true three-year old I am, I would stubbornly stomp my feet and triple snap in z formation, thinking “boy, you don’t know me.” I fought off attempts at true intimacy, not wanting anyone to know the real me–the deep, dark, less-than-perfect parts of me that I didn’t even like. Why on earth would I want anyone to know those parts? I can’t even stomach them, pushing them down, down, down–hiding them under layers of socially acceptable facades. 
I didn’t love those parts and, quite frankly, I wasn’t a huge fan of the whole sum of them either. How could I expect anyone else to be?
It took me a long time to come to grips with myself, all the parts of me. I mean, I’m almost 40 and I’m just now learning to love my pointy parts–my sharp angles that are less than pleasant and that I wish weren’t there. I spent years painting over them. Covering them up. Recognizing that they weren’t the most lovable parts, not worthy of prime time showing. It was best to hide. Hide them away. Cover them up. Pretend they aren’t there.
But that’s not how it works, is it? Those things, those sharp and pointy parts, they are just as much a part of us as the soft and wonderful ones. I am just as much a stubborn, bull-headed Irish spitfire as I am a patient, loving caring person. And hiding the bad parts, it just doesn’t work. I wasted so much energy and time hiding them, keeping them covered, because I was afraid that they made me completely unworthy of love.
But God….
Yes, there is always a But God, isn’t there?
But God, as I’ve gotten to know His heart better, He tells me that those sharp and pointy parts, they’re covered with His grace. That He loves me despite them, that they all are a part of His purpose. He tells me that I’m valuable and I should stop hiding. That I can’t do anything to earn His favor yet because of the blood of Jesus, I can’t do anything to lose it either.
This knowledge, the knowledge of Gods deep deep love for me, gave me the freedom to let my sharp and pointy parts out of hiding. And the weirdest part about doing that is that the less covering up I do, the less power they have. Because of His love, the parts of myself that I am not proud of, the parts I don’t even like, they’re changing and evolving. His love is sanding down the sharpness, smoothing out my rough edges.
The love of God changes everything, people, even your worst parts.
And His love, well, it’s also allowing me to accept that my husband knows me at my worst. To accept his redirection without resentment, and allow him to guide me back on the right road and off of the path that was actually leading me down towards a really sketchy part of town.
So, friends, I don’t know where you are right now in life. I have no idea if everyone else on the planet is more evolved than I am and has made peace with their sharp edges already. Like, my insecurity is so yesterday. But I can tell you this, if you do struggle through this, if you’re wondering how on earth someone could love the worst of you because you can’t even like it, well, God does. He’s got you covered. Let Him love you. It opens the doors of your heart to let others do the same.
So today, I’m sharing a recipe that is one of those recipes that I know by heart. It’s one I can predict and one I love because it actually is a two-for one. The first thing you need to have is my recipe for Orecchiette with Sausage and Garlicky Greens. Make it for dinner one night, I promise it’s easy and delicious. But before you throw that pasta in with the sausage, grab out on cup of the greens mixture. Set it aside. It’s the base of your breakfast the next morning (and if you’re lucky, the next one and the next one). There is nothing more amazing than a gift that keeps on giving, and that’s what this recipe is. So make it for dinner, then turn around and have these amazing Egg Cups with Sausage and Garlicky Kale for breakfast. You’ll love both.
Peace, love, and sharp edges,
Meg
Baked Egg Cups with Garlicky Kale and Sausage
Ingredients
- 1 cup sausage and kale reserved from Orecchiette recipe
- 8 eggs, lightly beaten
- 1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
- salt and pepper
Directions
- Step 1 Preheat oven to 350.
- Step 2 Spray muffin tins with cooking spray to prevent sticking.
- Step 3 Crack eggs into medium bowl and add a dash of water. Lightly beat with a fork until combined.
- Step 4 Fill each muffin tin about 1/2 full with egg mixture (should fill about 6-8 tins)
- Step 5 Add about one tablespoon of sausage mixture to each cup and sprinkle with some cheese. Gently mix in until combined.
- Step 6 Bake for 15-20 minutes until completely cooked through. They will puff up considerably in the oven, but once cooled will deflate.
- Step 7 Remove to a cooling rack for a few minutes before popping out of tins.
- Step 8 Can be served immediately or refrigerated for up to 5 days.
Welcome to BurntToast! My name is Meaghan, and this is my safe space, a place where we can share stories, share recipes and share life. It’s my dream that you can come here, kick your shoes off and pour yourself a glass of wine while you read, laugh, and maybe even hop into the kitchen. This is my heart, for all of you to see. And ALL are welcome here.
Sometimes I wish my acquired family took my pets away for a day or two so that I can regain my sanity. Then, thankfully, Summer comes round and they are outdoors all the time while I catch up on my peace and quiet while I have the sofa all to myself! 😉
Lovely recipe, quick and easy and sounds rather yummy too.