If I had to describe my personal style it would be “lazy chic.” Or, if I’m being more precise, just lazy. I have a uniform and I like to stick with it because, well, I’m lazy. I am a grey t-shirt and jeans girl. My preferred pair of jeans being a patched and then re-patched pair from my twenties that I just can’t bear to part with because, in the words of old people everywhere, they just don’t make jeans like they used to. But if I’m really getting fancy I’ll put on a nice pair of dress blues (read: no holes).
Which is totally fine on most days. But on those off days when I have to, I don’t know, look like a normal person and go somewhere mildly fancy, it’s quite the conundrum. Staring blankly at the racks in my closet, I will almost always cry. Sometimes it’s a scene. Sometimes I curse (ok. Most times). And I am generally not happy when I do finally settle on an outfit because it doesn’t feel like me.
I used to have style. In fact, I used to be style. Working in fashion taught me a lot and I carried that well into my second career, where I cared deeply (a little too deeply) about how I presented myself and what I wore. Most likely in an attempt to right those wrongs, I have totally devolved since then. I’m much more comfortable inside my own skin than I have ever been (hello, 40) and I feel content to let who I am shine most, not what I wear or how I look.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I still, on occasion, want to look pretty and just don’t have the tools to do it in the barren racks of my closet. And so my sweet, sweet, husband decided to gift me a shopping spree for Mother’s Day.
Honestly, he really knocked this one out of the park.
So Saturday night before Mother’s Day we all piled in the car and headed out to the mall with the sole intent of LETTING MOM SHOP.
It was such an amazing idea. With ridiculously poor execution. Because why we, as parents now almost TWELVE YEARS IN, thought that our children would be able to patiently wait through a mom shopping spree is now the eighth wonder of the world. Kids, for the most part, think of just three things 1) themselves 2) playing and 3) themselves. That’s it. It’s a parenting work in progress to get them past this and into the nice tidy grown up land of patience, empathy and selflessness. It’s slow going but we’re getting there. Just not on this particular day. And not in this particular mall. Because almost immediately it started…..
“I’m boooorrrreeeed. Can we go to the LEGO Store?”
“But I brought my own money (producing three quarters and a crumpled fiver), I want something for meeeeee.”
“Why do you have to try on those pants, Mom? I want to go to Chic Fil A nooooooooowwwwww.“
It was incessant whining from the start, and it totally wrecked my vibe. Because nothing says shopping spree like a chorus of dissent and impatience, amiright?
Now to his credit, Jeff did drag those ungrateful children of ours out of the store to give me some uninterrupted and unhurried shopping time. He tried to salvage the gift. But my momentum was crushed. Y’all, dressing rooms are already kind of a beat down for most of us. I mean, those three-way mirrors, they’re not our friends even on our best day. Couple this already tenuous situation with the stress and anxiety of my children acting like self-centered hooligans and all of the air was let out of my shopping spree balloon.
The only thing in my hand as I walked out of the mall was a bag of leftover Panda Express. And I was pissed about it.
Hot, angry tears slipped out of my eyes on the way home. I felt so unimportant. I felt so second. I was disappointed and frustrated and, as I listened to my children in the back of the car compare their own booty (because you know they all walked out with treasures) I was seething.
How dare they? This was my Mother’s Day treat. And they couldn’t even keep it together for one afternoon at the mall. How dare they?
But that night, through heated tears and some serious self-reflection (and a glass or two of wine) I started to think deeper. And as much as it surprised even me, I began to change my tune. It started to realize it was a little less “How dare they” and maybe a little more “How dare I.”
Yes, my kids were total jack wagons that night. I can’t argue this fact. They were self-centered. They were self-focused. And they were whiners. This is the 100% truth. But I was something worse.
Y’all. I let those little monsters steal my thunder. I let them and then decided to be angry about it. Jeff gave me a complete out. He gave me no time limits, no strings attached. He took them out and braved the crowds like a true hero so I could shop alone. And instead, I felt sorry for myself and let their behavior wreck it. I gave my own personal power away that night, letting those little turdbuckets angels rob me of a gift. And I had no one to blame but myself.
Listen, I recognize that it would have taken a Hurculean effort of massive proportions to let that behavior slide and continue about my shopping business unaffected. I realize that there probably isn’t a mother on earth who hasn’t had a shopping excursion or two completely derailed by whining, tantruming children. It happens. Raising children is hard and as they’re not quite near perfect, well, ever, this is bound to happen.
BUT, I didn’t have to let them rob me of my time. I was in the freaking store. ALONE. Jeff was dealing with their whining. He was dealing with their tanturms and their “I wants.” I was scot free. This one was totally on me.
So this momma, she put her big girl pants back on dropped her martyrdom at door. This was my gift to grab and I didn’t want to let anyone stop me from grasping it. Sunday morning, right as that mall opened, I was back at it. Standing in the dressing room, just me and my precious daughter (who was not, at this point, complaining), trying on clothes.
Friends, I walked out with some great clothes on Sunday. I really did. I can actually get dressed like a real live grown up person now. But that’s not the point. I also learned a little something. I’m a much better me when I treat my power like a treasure and give it away or hold it tight wisely. You are too. I promise. 
Also, don’t take kids to the mall. Just don’t.
Anyway, today’s recipe is a wise and healthy one because the other thing I learned in those dressing rooms is I’ve got some work to do. Realistically, I’m never going to be where I was in my twenties and thirties again (can we get an AMEN for this one). And given that I cook for a living, major diets probably aren’t happening. But I can get it together and do some healthy stuff, right? Y’all will still love me.
And this is one of those healthy ones. Like eggrolls but not the guilt. No frying. No guilt. Just healthy lean turkey, a sweet delicious sauce and lots of veggies. Even my picky kids liked this one. It’s a quick dinner, too. About 15 minutes start to finish, it’s a true #toolboxrecipe and since it makes lots, you’ll probably have leftovers too.
So treat yo self. Hold tight to your own power. And steer clear of those three way mirrors. I’m pretty sure the devil created them.
Peace, love and power,
Meg
Healthy Turkey and Cabbage Stir Fry (Eggroll in a Bowl)
Ingredients
- 1 pound lean ground turkey
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- pinch of ground ginger
- 1/2 head of cabbage, cored and thinly sliced
- 1 onion, halved and then thinly sliced
- 1 cup pre-shredded carrots
- For the Sauce:
- 1/3 cup soy sauce
- 2 teaspoons sesame oil
- 1/2 teaspoon fish sauce (optional)
- 2 tabespoons coconut sugar (sub: brown sugar)
- squirt of Sriracha or hot sauce
Directions
- Step 1 In a small bowl, stir sauce ingredients together. Set aside.
- Step 2 Heat a drizzle of olive oil in a large skillet until hot and shimmering.
- Step 3 Add turkey and cook until almost completely browned, breaking up with a spatula as you go.
- Step 4 Add garlic and ginger, stirring to combine, about 1 minute.
- Step 5 Add onions and carrots, drizzle with more oil if the pan is dry and cook, stirring often until slightly softened. 2-4 minutes.
- Step 6 Add cabbage and more oil if pan is dry. Season with salt and pepper and cook, 3-5 minutes or until cabbage is softened and wilted.
- Step 7 Add the sauce, giving it one quick stir before pouring over.
- Step 8 Stir well to coat and cook a few more minutes until combined.
- Step 9 Taste, season and serve.
- Step 10 Great topped with Sriracha and sesame seeds.
Welcome to BurntToast! My name is Meaghan, and this is my safe space, a place where we can share stories, share recipes and share life. It’s my dream that you can come here, kick your shoes off and pour yourself a glass of wine while you read, laugh, and maybe even hop into the kitchen. This is my heart, for all of you to see. And ALL are welcome here.