The Fear of the ASK: A Study for Creatives

The Fear of the Ask, a Case Study for Creatives

I have a confession to make to you all. I have been lying to you. Yes, you. Every single day since I’ve started this blog. I’ve been lying. Not only to you but to myself.

And maybe that’s the worst part.

I’m going to go deep and tell you some things, some behind the scene, nitty-gritty things, that I’ve never disclosed or talked about before here. And maybe you won’t care or it won’t change your opinion about me or this blog. Or maybe it will. I don’t know. But I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m not terrified it will make you turn your back on me. I can be honest about this, at least.

I’m going to go back to the beginning a bit and explain…

You all know, if you’ve been around here for a while, that when I started BurntToast I had literally zero ideas about what I was doing, how I was doing it, or what I was supposed to be doing as a blogger. I didn’t really realize there was a certain way to do it right or to look professional (mostly because I wasn’t). I didn’t go into this as a business. I just wanted to share recipes and tell stories. HARD STOP.

I didn’t know then, of course, that this is entirely the wrong way to go about blogging. Like, backwards. Completely backwards.

Because most people, if not all, that I’ve come across who are in this world, go into it like a business. They chose a “niche” (which I couldn’t even pronounce until like last week), they build a website, often professionally, they backlog a bunch of posts so when they “launch” it looks professional and clean and like an established blog. They do this, of course, so they can eventually monetize.

Because, trust me, in this world, MONETIZING is everythang….

And here’s where it gets murky for me. I have always purposely NOT monetized. For a reason.

The first reason, of course, was that I had no idea what I was doing. I went into it kind of like a hobby, but even then I wasn’t intentional about it. It’s just something I wanted to do, so I did it. Not unlike looking before I leaped. (this is not uncommon for me).

The second reason I didn’t monetize or try to monetize, once I realized that everyone goes into the blogging world to monetize,  (by the way, most people who make money blogging do so by “teaching” other people how to make money blogging. Do you see the irony there? ‘Cause I do.) was because I didn’t want to turn you off to what I was doing by being all “in your face” salesy with products and recommendations. I was afraid, nay terrified, that if I looked like I was trying to make money off of this whole thing you wouldn’t trust me. And when I say that trust is one of the most important things to me about this whole community, I am absolutely NOT lying about this.

I realize that this is highly personal, based more on my own preferences than anything else. Because people do this all of the time, right? Influencers make entire salaries off of the money they make for influencing others, oftentimes without anything to prove, other than highly stylized pictures and a following (often purchased), that you should, in fact, be influenced by their opinion.

I mean, think about this for a second, why should you eat where a certain foodie says you should eat? What about that person makes them an “expert?” Are they trained food critics? Or just a person with an iPhone? Why should you buy what that fashion influencer is pitching? Do they work in the fashion industry? Or are they just someone paid to wear that shirt that she’s telling you to buy?

This has always bugged me. I mean, I can’t even influence my kids to eat their vegetables so how on earth I should deem myself worthy of influencing you, I never could guess.

So I just didn’t. And, for the most part, it worked. In full honest disclosure, I have not made money from this blog. I haven’t advertised (I pulled my ads because I didn’t like how they looked). I don’t partner with brands to make a certain recipe because they’re paying me to use their cheese. It was very important to me that I was completely organic in my growth. I don’t pay for followers or do any of that follow/unfollow stuff that influencers are famous for. I tried one giveaway for fun and it annoyed me a bit too much so I vowed never to do another.

It has always been very important to me that if I tell you to go eat somewhere or I tell you to make something it’s completely unbiased and free–just my opinion, take it or leave it, no strings attached. It has always been important to me to grow naturally, without the gimmicks and the negative things associated with getting big, FAST.

And it’s worked. I’ve felt comfortable, albeit a bit broke. I’ve told myself that I don’t want to make money, that I’m doing this just to change lives and it’s not really a job and I have no business influencing anyone and I shouldn’t ask because why on earth would you trust me to sell you anything.

Y’all. This is Bull.S***

Not all of it. But most of it. And this is why…..

I do want to make money. Everyone does. I’ve been doing this for a long time–three years, in fact–and I treat it like a job. I sit down, every day and show up, trying to learn, do better, and grow. Every day. It’s a JOB. And one that I’ve been afraid to ask to get paid for. Because I want you to trust me. Very much so.

I’m afraid of the ask because I want you to like me. Bottom line.

But the reality of the matter is, no one would work a job for three years and not get paid. No one (well, no one sane) would continue to pour their blood, sweat, and tears into something expecting no return at all. No one would do this unless they were afraid of the ask.

As a “creative” (i use this term loosely because I doubt my creativity on the daily), I have a hard time monetizing because everything about this “job” is personal. EVERYTHING. And if I monetize and you say “hey, I’m not going to pay for that, it’s too expensive for this nonsense,” then it’s about me. Personally. And that hurts. As a creative, it’s hard for me to put a price on the things I do. On the outside, it might look easy, but the amount of work that goes into creating a recipe (never right on the first try, by the way), making the recipe, staging it, taking pictures, editing pictures, writing the post, optimizing it for SEO, creating graphics, sharing on social, marketing it is staggering. If I had to monetize based solely on that–it would be astronomical, yet I’m afraid to ask you to buy some cheese. Because I feel like you wouldn’t pay it. Or, at the very least, it would be rude to ask.

When someone comes to do work at your house, do you ever think of not paying them? When you enjoy a movie or buy a book, do you feel like you should do it for free? No. This is reality. You don’t mistrust an author because you pay for her book, so why do I feel like you wouldn’t trust me if I recommended my favorite blender or brand of milk?

‘Cause I’m afraid. That’s why.

So here’s the deal, friends. I’ve got to break out of this fear. If you’re a creative, working hard towards a dream, you probably understand what I’m talking about. In order to stay afloat, I’ve got to make this a brand and a business, not just a fun little rainbows and butterflies place that doesn’t need a cent to survive (the truth is, it does cost money to keep this up so I’m basically living in the red all the time). So I’m going to slowly, gently start monetizing.

I’ll be sharing with each recipe my favorite brands or my recommended products. I’ll start slowly because this is all new to me and also, I solemnly swear to never, and I mean never ever, recommend something I don’t 100% use, trust, and swear by. This is my brand and I won’t ever sacrifice the quality for a dollar. You probably won’t see me, a food blogger, repping floor cleaner or shampoo. I want and need to stay on brand, but I will try to slowly incorporate product into my posts.

And for my fellow creatives, what’s holding you back from asking? Is it fear? Is it a lack of confidence? Is it a lack of know-how? If so, I highly recommend following my friend Brooklyn on Insta. She is an entrepreneur, a marketing genius and a creative herself but what she’s best at, in my humble opinion, is encouraging people.

We chatted yesterday and she kicked my butt with truth bomb after truth bomb. She pulled me out of my own shadow and helped me realize that I’m worth it. BurntToast, my friends, is my brand and my business. If I don’t treat it like so, I’m doing it a disservice. I’ve spent three years building it organically and working to earn your trust. I’ve put the legwork in. I hope, dear friends, that I’ve proven myself to you over the years and that you know where my heart is. And I hope, as well, that you trust me enough to stick around for this next part of the journey.

Because I am no longer afraid of the Ask.

Peace, love and making changes,

Meg

For more on fear, read HERE

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